Yesterday, I promised the final formula for rewarding those at work or at home. Blending my experience as a Certified Personality Trainer, with intense study of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and mixing in the flavor of gender, I’ve come up with an almost fool-proof system that works. Here’s a brief synopsis of how to give something meaningful to your recipient, and assure appreciation for your efforts. You might even get a thank you.
Popular Sanguine/Physical Touch — For the Girls
So far, my research shows these girls do just want to have fun. They respond to appropriate physical touch — they’re the huggers in the bunch. Often, this is all it takes to make them sparkle. If you speak a Popular Sanguine’s Love Language of Physical Touch, a pat on the arm, a quick rub on their shoulder, or a big hug, you’ll secure their loyalty. Let them plan a party, and they’ll cheerlead for weeks.
Popular Sanguine/Physical Touch — For the Boys
Girls aren’t the only ones who want to have fun, boys of this driving personality are motivated by something exciting to look forward to as well. For them, it might mean going to a ball game with his crew. A slap on the back while you compliment his good work go will energize him for weeks.
Powerful Choleric/Words of Affirmation — For Women
A Powerful personality needs to know you appreciate their ethics and hard work. They respond well to a note of gratitude, crediting them for their part in positive outcomes. Show your confidence in their abilities by giving them a leadership role in a project, and watch them shine.
Powerful Choleric/Words of Affirmation — For Men
Like their female counterparts, men of power also like words of affirmation, but don’t necessarily need it written down. Give them a problem and ask them how they would solve it. This challenge is its own reward for a man driven by the need to succeed.
Perfect Melancholy/Quality Time — Ladies’ Choice
Opposite of the Popular personality, the Perfect Melancholy takes life seriously. They prefer privacy, shy away from physical touch, but appreciate time spent, as long as it’s quality. Attracted to the finer things in life, take them to a meal at a nice restaurant, give them tickets to a concert of their choice, or send them on a relaxed retreat where they can enjoy nature.
Perfect Melancholy/Quality Time — Man’s Choice
Melancholy men also prefer a quiet respite for rewards. Find out if they enjoy fishing, hunting, bird-watching, or some other outdoor activity where they can soak up the sounds of the great outdoors. Depending on his preferences, this man might enjoy an evening of classical music. An orderly place to rest will rejuvenate them for the next task ahead.
Peaceful Phlegmatic/Acts of Service — For Her
The peaceful woman enjoys giving to others, but often, others fail to notice this generous soul does most of the giving. Return the favor. Give her permission to sit a spell, and wait on her foot and hand. She also tends to be the listener in most conversations, so surprise her with an offer to listen while she talks, and then keep your mouth closed. You’ll receive her graceful appreciation.
Peaceful Phlegmatic/Acts of Service — For Him
Take him to lunch, just the two of you, and ask for his perspective on some of the problems you face. This watcher of the world may surprise you with his insights. Tapping into his wisdom will endear him to you forever. Show your deep respect for his value as a human being, and watch him unfold like a sprout shooting through a warm, spring soil. Offer to work side-by-side with him on a task, and the sprout will grow into a strong stalk.
Every personality needs a personalized reward. It isn’t rocket science, but it does require a bit of thoughtful effort on your part. However, you will receive as much, or more, than you give. But the harvest you reap will prove the effort was worth your time.
Do you take the time to give individualized rewards? Do you think they’re beneficial?
Anita FreshFaith @ Work
Jeremiah 17:10 (NIV)
“I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”
Anita Agers-Brooks is a Business Coach, Certified Personality Trainer, Communications Specialist, speaker, and writer. She lives in Missouri with her family.