A MARRIAGE MADE IN HEAVEN
† Anita has been married to her husband Ricky for thirty-two years. They have two grown sons, with two adorable grandchildren. The roller coaster ride of married life feels long and winding at times, while breathlessly fast at others. At the very least it’s an adventure!
- NO, you did not marry the wrong person! Love is a verb which requires action, not a warm and fuzzy noun that just happens to you. Choose to love your mate by looking for good things to appreciate. Focus on whatever is pure, lovely, and admirable.
- We don’t make each other happy. As a matter of fact, we don’t make each other anything. We accept each other as a creature made in God’s image, with different pieces of His personality put together uniquely. Marital love is a life-long commitment of unconditional love, given to an imperfect person.
- Sometimes we don’t see eye to eye, but it’s okay to agree to disagree. It’s often better to sacrifice being right, for the greater good of peace.
- A God planned marriage never includes put downs or digs. Each spouse focuses on the best of each other and does NOT talk negatively behind each other’s backs.
- What kind of person would you like to come home to each day? Are you that person for your spouse? Smile, show appreciation and greet them with interest about their day. Be positive – Choose against chronic complaints. Do you like to be around a chronic complainer?
- A great marriage does not look to unhealthy or unreal “outside influences” such as romance novels or pornography for a happier home life. Instead, both husband and wife listen to the voice of the great Creator of marriage. They stop attempts at living up to unattainable fantasy; they explore the joy of genuine sexual pleasure as designed by God.
- Ask your mate to come out and play! When was the last time you simply had fun together? Laughter is a good medicine, and a sick marriage often needs a healthy dose.
- God’s plan is best for us. Ricky and I spent most of our married lives doing it our way. It wasn’t until we discovered the excitement, adventure, depth and peace of following the way of Jesus Christ that the empty places in our souls were filled.
- With confession comes mercy, and love covers a multitude of sins. A wise person once said, “You don’t keep secrets – Secrets keep you.” Don’t let invisible walls grow because of unspoken guilt or regret. If your spouse braves the wall, and shares something they have been hiding, be gracious. Remember the mercy you want in light of your failings.
- When life on this earth ends, God will hold us accountable for our behavior in all relationships. Our marriage will be the greatest test of all. Did we honor it as the treasure it was meant to be? Apart from God’s sacrifice of His son, to save us from self and sin, marriage is the greatest gift of all.
- In marriage it is equally true, “It is never too late for a fresh start with fresh faith!” With God ALL things are possible!
**What I am: A professional life coach, a certified personality trainer, certified communications specialist, and marriage veteran of over three decades.
What I am not: I am not a professional clinician, and do not offer that kind of counsel or therapy — but I do offer insider insights from a veteran of the love and war experience in long-term commitment.
I reserve the right to refer you to a professional counselor when issues beyond my qualifications arise.